December 2010
1 post
I hate technology
Things I own that are broken:
Laptop #1 (4.5 years old) -Sound-card -CD Drive -Internal hard-drive -Docking Station -Battery (lasts 45 minutes tops) -Fan (overheats in minutes) -RAM (takes 5 minutes to load a website/30 minutes a program)
Laptop #2 (6 years old) -Wireless access (can’t even get on the internet) -CD Drive -Mouse
Wireless Router (won’t connect to modem- 7 years...
October 2009
1 post
Brian: Why are you coming out of Burlington??
Adam: What do you mean?
Brian: Are you taking nuclear engineer classes?
Adam: No. BUT I like to know where every bathroom on campus is.
Brian: Haha, why?
Adam: Just think, when the zombies attack and you have to duck into a random building to escape, you are eventually going to need to know where the bathroom in that building is.
Brian: ...
Adam: You have to be prepared.
Brian: ...
Adam: Or the Zombies will eat your brains.
August 2009
4 posts
Organic 2 Final at 8am
Adam: If my life were played out in a movie. this would be the part where the slow piano music would play, and it would be really sad and everyone would cry.
Adam: But hopefully it would be a big mistake and it turns out there is nothing to be sad about afterall, and then we all break out into song!
Adam: Twist ending!
Adam: I also want my part to be played by Denzel Washington, because he yells a lot!
Jenna: OMG Adam stop texting me and focus on your study materials.
Jenna: Listen to the theme from Rocky.
Jenna: It will give you POWER.
WHY DOES EVERY GIRL NAME THEIR CAR?
The Near Future
helendear:
It’s looking pretty great. Here is why.
School starts!!!!!! I will learn how to make books, how to read children’s minds, and how to organize rocks. Seriously, August 19 cannot come soon enough.
I hate you, and the fact that you enjoy your classes. My classes are about as fun as sticking a spoon into my eyeball.
June 2009
8 posts
Who Planned the Layout of Keyboards?
Adam: ok
Adam: I am going to bed.
Adam: I'll call you in a hot sex
Adam: Whoops
Adam: I meant sec
Adam: The x is next to the c you see
Laura: hahaha
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Blogging
where has my creative urge gone?
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May 2009
6 posts
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Organic Chemistry
Organic Chem Professor: “…so when this happens it becomes extremely volatile, reacts spontaneously, and is very combustible.”
Me to the girl sitting next to me: “Wait, I just zoned out for a minute. Is he talking about molecules or my ex girlfriend?”
beebopdoowop:
52books:
Rosebuds - Get Up Get...
Maggie: did you still want me to kitten sit tomorrow?
Adam: i dont know
Adam: maybe
Adam: probably
Adam: count on doing it
Maggie: haha adam
Maggie: vaguest answer everrr
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April 2009
21 posts
“I am blinded by your white skin…. I feel violated.”
– Maggie upon seeing my naked body.
Nicole: You just posted a picture of yourself butt ass naked on the internet?
Adam: Indeed I did.
Nicole: You obviously have no shame.
Nicole: None. At All.
Adam: Naked is entertaining, funny, and awkward. Its the perfect humor.
Nicole: You are weird, but your wisdom and insight makes sense in a twisted way.
Nicole: At least no one can see your junk.
Adam: You wouldn't be able to anyways, too small.
Nicole: Ha, we all know better.
Nicole: Well, maybe I don't, but someone does.
1 tag
A Semester In Review
The hardest educational semester of my life ended yesterday. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for it to be over with. Most people complain about how time flies and look back fondly on their college days, but I know that I will never regret getting through the past 4 months as quickly as possible.
Im never one to settle for low grades and I never let stress get to me. I...
1 tag
Women who swallow semen have lower occurrence of... →
indoorfireworks:
perfecthell:
thefondest:
sharpless:
carinaavila: christinefriar
Please excuse me while I both “like” and reblog this post…
DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT.
WHAT.
HAHAHHAA glad to know that the college I go to is researching something important.
1 tag
“Don’t you hate it when you build a mansion, and you build a wall safe where you hide your hundreds of thousands of dollars and some good porn - and then you forget to not only put a painting in front of the wall safe to hide it, but you forget to lock it, and someone breaks in and your porn is GONE!?”
Quote of the Week (April 19 - 25)
God's Haiku
God said this today:
“JC told me to be more creative, so I wrote this Haiku for everyone: I’m omnipotent. You are not omnipotent. Do not make me mad.”
BOOM.
Watch I didnt like the movies that much, but this looks REALLY good.
In Harris Teeter for Singles Night,...
“If I were Jewish and my name were Asher Eisenberg, and I had my own carpentry shop - I would buy those bumper stickers for all of my employees that said “My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter” and if they didn’t put them on their cars I would fire their ungrateful asses.”
Quote of the Week (April 12-April 18)
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Watchindoorfireworks:
I stole this from Greg….it is flat out amazing.
And I stole it from you. Incredible.
Today we salute you, Mr. New Carolina Baskeball Fan. Unlike others who pull for their Alma Mater/hometown team, you insist on cheering for someplace you know little to nothing about. Their uniforms are cute, Michael Jordan went there, and that foot thing seems so trendy….. So toast a bud light to T-Han’s journeyman pro career, cause come football season you won’t know where...
fuck
Maggie: what is the score?????
Adam: FUCK
Maggie: nooooo what is it????? i need to know!!
Adam: its FUCK
Adam: thats all
Adam: and fuck as in a bad way, not like in a "im getting laid thats fucking awesome so ill scream FUCK" kinda way
Maggie: i realize
Maggie: but you still will not tell me what the score is
Adam: 32-11
Maggie: fuckfuckfuckfuck
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Yesterday Saja and I had lunch and we both talked about how neither of us had any clue what we wanted to do once we graduated. So I thought about it, and here is what I have decided.
I think a great job would be to be an old time jazz musician playing every night in a jazz club, getting fucked up but still being able to play well, to have that beautiful of a raw talent, to be making music,...
March 2009
30 posts
One good thing about being a caveman would be when smartasses come up to you and say “Nice wrinkled shirt - what’d you iron that with - a rock?” You could say “yes”.
Quote of the Week (March 29 -April 4) A little late, sorry readers.
Adam's Tip For Guys #73
If you want to get laid - the next time you’re in the shower and find one of her long hairs - place it on the shower wall so it sticks and move it around with your finger to form a heart shape - then tell her there’s a message from you in the shower and that you love her.
(DO NOT use your own pubic hairs and spell out “Me and you - tonight!” - it’s impressive and...
1 tag
Making "The Move"
Every time that perfect opportunity arises- the precise moment that has been meticulously planned out in my head detail by detail, dissected to the bone, organized and reorganized until there is nothing left to consider- something manages to just severely fuck it up entirely without any warning. I have never had the same scenario either, so its not like I can learn from these...
Don't You Wish You Were Me?
7:00am. Wake up. Check 8:00am. Physics class. Check 10:00am. Seduce Maggie into creating my resume for me. Check 11:45m-1:15. Chemistry class. Check 1:30-3:00. Study for engineering quiz. Check 3:00-5:00. Take quiz and do engineering lab. Check 5:00-6:30. Molecular Gastronomy Seminar. Check 6:40-8:00. Physics Lab. Check 8:15-11:00. Work.
Thursdays are long.
Not A Great One, But It Will Do
So I get this computerized voice message on my phone from my credit card company: “This message is for Adam, please press seven, otherwise press six” What the hell!? “..Otherwise press six”!? So I pressed eight.
Quote of the Week (March 22-28)